Robbie sat wearily down at the desk that he was still reluctantly sharing with Weird, and tried to put the whole ridiculous series of events into order, and to help all readers keep apace of where we’re up to so far.

Weird was already at the desk, seemingly practising hand gestures while muttering to himself. He looked up, nodding slightly to acknowledge Robbie’s existence. From the folds of Colin’s sleeves a book fell out followed closely by one of those imps that he always seemed to have handy nearby. The imp skipped across to the book and making quite a show of it, as the book was larger than him, turned over several pages, until he reached a page roughly a quarter of the way through the tome that he was happy with. He turned fully to face Weird and nodded once. The page was titled ‘Temporal Fidgeting or if I Could Turn Back Time’.

Weird leaned over to peer closer at the book, and checking it moved his fingers into what it described as ‘the Ronnie James Dio’ position. Fingers curled appropriately, he began the incantation: –

“Om Barnsley, Kate Garraway, Nestle Rowntree, Magic Faraway…” he began

The imp ran up the outside of his sleeve, putting himself level with where Weird’s ears would be if he had such things. The little demon began frantically whispering, and Weird peered again at the page. He coughed and tried again: –

“Om, Barnsley Reserves for the cup, Kate Garrity, Nestle…”

The imp scuttled back up his arm, frantically whispering again.

By now, Weird had had enough. He backhanded the imp across the room into an opening portal, which made a loud slavering noise as it devoured him. The imp screamed as its guts were rent asunder. Its last act was a look back at Weird that seemed to ask why he had done this terrible thing to him. 

The portal closed.

Robbie swallowed and asked the question on his lips, “Why?”

Weird looked up and after a lengthy pause sighed, “I just can’t stand spellcheckers.”

This was hardly doing Robbie’s head any favours. 

 

 

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