WHY IS YOUR WEBSITE CALLED ‘OFFENSIVE GHOSTS’?

Ian: Grab your full size Oxford English dictionary. A Sloan is ‘a derogatory comment or insult’, and a White is a ghost. Next.

WHY DID YOU PARODY INSPECTOR MORSE?

Ian: We are both big Inspector Morse fans, but could see a very funny side to the stories could be made by exaggerating a few character traits, from the original books and TV episodes.

WHY DID YOU START WRITING TOGETHER?

Ian: My Dad made me. My Dad introduced us, knowing we both wrote and had a very similar sense of humour.

Howard: “You need to talk with my son, you’ll get on very well, you could write some good material,” he said to me one morning at work. Twenty five years later, and he’s still right.

WHAT ARE YOUR MUSICAL INFUENCES?

Ian: Beatles, Dead Kennedys, The Clash, Fad Gadget, Bauhaus, Bowie, Squeeze, Talking Heads, Peter Gabriel, Blancmange, Stranglers, Fiat Lux – to name a few

Howard: Creeper, Black Veil Brides, Idles, My Chemical Romance, Motorhead, Kreator, Arch Enemy, Discharge, and yes, Status Quo, so get over it!

WHO SCORED THE WINNING GOAL IN THE 1979 CUP FINAL?

Ian: John Noakes

Howard: Alan Sunderland. one of the few football questions I know! Which was why I asked it.

Ian: I know all the football questions, but surprisingly few of the answers.

WHY IS COLIN WEIRD PORTRAYED AS A DEMON IN YOUR STORIES?

Howard: We took the original character’s name (“Jim Strange”) and I wanted to make him like Major Bloodnok in The Goon Show; but as the name Weird evolved so his character sort of took over, in a, well, demonic way.

Ian: I liked the opportunity to bring out my dark side with Weird. I’m a frustrated horror writer, so the more ghastly I can make Colin the better. That said, we always had the idea that as we got to know Weird, the less horrific and more pathetic he would become. And by the way the name Colin is after Colin Dexter.

WHO ARE YOUR WRITING AND COMEDY INFLUENCES?

Ian: Writing wise Spike Milligan, Luke Rhinehart, Terry Pratchett. Comedy wise Spike again, Eddie Braben, Bill Hicks, Bill Bailey, Eddie Izzard, Python, Frankie Boyle, Laurel and Hardy, also love a bit of Viz.

Howard: I used to read a lot of history books; the railway historian LTC Rolt, the Great war writer Lyn Macdonald, people’s war diaries. Jerome K Jerome, Hugh Cornwell,  Anthony Price, Geoffrey Willans in particular has a lot to answer for. He bridges nicely into comedy and that’s Spike, Mike, Ken Dodd, Frankie Boyle, Chris & Simon Donald.

ARE THE AUDIOBOOKS EVER GOING TO HAPPEN?

Howard: Shut it, we’re working on it, shut up ffs!

WILL THE DALEKS FEATURE IN THE NEXT BOOK?

Ian: Not if Terry Nation’s lawyers have anything to say about it!

Howard: You are trying my patience.

WILL THERE BE A FOURTH BOOK?

Ian: Not if Terry Nation’s lawyers have anything to say about it!

Howard: Yes. Publish and be damned.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE MOROSE STORY?

Ian: I have a soft spot for ‘Sins of the Feathers’ – the first story in Being Morose, I love the interview with Fetch the gardener, and Morose’s raid of the silly syrup in the mansion. Also, very proud of ‘It’s All Over’ from Back on the Lash – lost a night’s sleep for that story!

Howard: I’m hoping we haven’t written that one yet! Difficult, I loved the last three stories of book one (Last Seen Swearing, Geeks Bearing Gifts and Driven to Destruction), and the parody of Day of the Devil in book two, that we called Vague Time Period of the Scary Chap.

Ian: Yeah you’re right.  Can I change my selection, they’re shit. I’ll go with Howard’s. Seriously, they are some favourites too.

CAT OR DOG?

Howard: Dog

Ian: We think donkey.

FAVE TIPPLE?

Ian: What’s everyone else having?

Howard: Special Brew or Double Stout.

FAVOURITE 70’S DJ?

Ian: Richard Skinner and John Peel.

Howard: Tommy Vance.

WHAT’S NEXT?

Ian: I’m going home!  I’ve got a separate book hopefully coming out soon – Space Trash, with Rachel Razbully – but, Morose wise, audio books and book 4 hopefully!

Howard: What’s next, humanity will sink into a soup of its own making, and all hope will be lost, and Satan will take his place as Lord of Darkness, and then I’m off to drop a log.

Ian: Aye canny good!