Here’s part of what we worked on last weekend, have a look!

“Shop!”

Hugh turned the page of his latest read. The Bash Street Kids had found a stash of hardcore Swedish stuff, and Plug looked like his namesake, and a heart attack wasn’t very far off.

“Shop!”

Hugh breathed a deep sigh and consulted the next page. Lord Snooty was caught in a dark alley with a load of anti-Brexit people. Before getting engrossed in the political fallout, he shouted out,

“Don? There’s some muppet on the front desk!” Then again, “Don?”

…. before remembering, bloody Don had booked this evening off. That fucking buffoon Terry was at his Weetabix Anonymous meeting, and no one else could be arsed turning in.

“Shop!”

Reluctantly, Hugh gave it a flush, and waddled back to the front desk, pulling his trousers up as he went. He cleared his throat and, stepping in it, looked up and addressed the great British public.

“Yes sir, how can I help you?”

A small feeble looking elderly man peered through his thick glasses at Hugh, and said,

“This is the local sty isn’t it?”

Hugh sighed again, “Oink-oink,” he replied, ”Got it in one.”

“Ah good, very good,” the old chap smiled, revealing real teeth but a false tongue,

“I was just taking an evening stroll down by the canal. You know over by the bridge…”

“Yes,” started Hugh, “Where the ladies of the night sell their wares?”

“Yes, yes… is it? I wouldn’t know!”

“£30 I believe! Sort of student discount!”

“If you price around you can get cheaper… allegedly…”

“So, you were looking for a bit of student action, down by the canal Sir, yes?”

“Yes… and I found an old suitcase.”

“Suitcase… yes…” Hugh had been watching a couple of old police films, and had noted that the desk sergeants often repeated what the member of the public said, and wrote it down. He had a pen! – but didn’t have a notepad, so he scratched it onto his computer screen.

“Yes, and when I opened it, inside were five young foxes.”

“Five young foxes?” Hugh looked up, this had caught his attention! This was local paper material, front page stuff! He needed more info –

 “So, were they moving?”

The elderly man peered through his glasses at Hugh, “Well, that would explain the suitcase, I suppose.”